Home Sweet Military Home

Our future home was just around the corner from the housing office.  The snow was deep.  The streets were thick with ice, and all the homes looked the same!  The winter months rested heavily on the neighborhood.  The neighborhood was dark and lifeless during the day, with the occasional car parked in the drive.  Cautiously walking up the driveway (which was covered with ice since the house had stood vacant for a while), we walked to the door of our quad.

The building was a two story building divided into four residences.  Honestly, from all appearances, it was a nice home.  It was clean and had 3 bedrooms.  Having moved out of a one bedroom in St. Louis, 3 bedrooms sounded like a mansion.  Walking through the door with the lady from housing, I was surprised to see hardwood floors.  I was even more surprised to see a modestly renovated kitchen with more cabinets than I would ever have after that!  This newlywed was happy.  We then went upstairs and discovered that it had, despite being built in the 50s, been "well" maintained.  Yes, it had seafoam green in one bathroom and pepto pink in the other.  My chief concerns were about how drafty the house was and the neglect in the basement.  My engineer walked through the house with whole different set of eyes and was concerned about the home he was giving his wife.  But the government was letting us live there, who was I to complain?

Now, years later, I understand the rub about living on base.  I am, by no means, "anti" base living.  It has its time and its place.  That very first assignment was definitely the right time for us to live on base. We needed to learn about the military and its society, and what better way to do so than to be completely immersed in it?  There are pros and cons about living on base.  Yes, it is a secure, gated community with guards that carry guns and frightfully efficient guard dogs.  The house is provided by the military.  Service members have a very short commute to work, and all the base amenities are right there.  A base is really a little town with its own chapels, grocery stores (commissary), shopping center (Base Exchange), gas station, movie theater, library, and many other elements that are normally seen in a town.  That is why it is so easy for people to isolate themselves to the base and not enjoy the area that they live in.

That last point brings me to the cons of living on base.  It is easy to isolate one's self by living on base.  You can take care of everything, even medical, on base.  I have known of many  who have moved to wonderful places and NEVER left the base.  I feel that this stunts people's abilities to grow as human beings.  Go out, explore!  The other con is the fact that work is ever present.  Service members work a bit later, go in earlier, and are willing to drop in on the weekends when they live on base.  Many claim that they HAVE to.  While that may be the case with some jobs, most really do not.  Actually having to drive a significant distance to work reduces service members' constant connection to the desk.  As a spouse, with an even split of on and off base living, I can attest to this.  There are times when the job, due to the demands, makes base living, more or less, a requirement because of the hours.  For us, we make the decision to live on or off base based on the job. For us, that very first house, paired with it being our first assignment, was the best thing that could have happened to us.

That very first house would be where I learned to graciously entertain (even people that I really didn't like).  I would learn about how notoriously thin walls in military house are.  Painfully early mornings paired with late work nights would be introduced.  In this home, my engineer and I would learn to live, laugh, and love...despite it all.  We would learn to fight, mourn, rejoice, and cry.  Our first baby would come home to this very first house. I would endure more periods of separation, and learn creative ways to stay sane in the midst of them.  By living in this house, I would meet countless military spouses, a few of them would become closer than family over the years that followed.  Holidays would become precious, as we would dive into spending them with fellow military families who were also far from home.

As a young spouse, looking at that simple home with hardwood floors, I had no idea all that would happen while we lived between its walls.  All I saw at that moment was a place that had the makings of a home, drafts and all.