The Facade of Safety

One thing that was a culture shock to me upon my arrival into military society was what I saw as putting too much trust in the caliber of others who lived on the base: the cars left running with the keys in the ignition, purses left on front seats, children playing unattended, and front doors left unlocked.  Honestly, these things made my stomach turn.

After I had our daughter, there were many people who offered to babysit.  However, I had a hard time trusting my little girl into the care of people that I did not feel that I knew well enough.  While they may have been trustworthy, I just couldn't do it.

There were countless times when I had gone into the BX to find small children left on a couch in front of the TV in the electronics section.  Where were their parents?  Why would they leave their children unguarded?  Over the years that followed, I would continue to see this done.  While in Germany, I actually started calling Security Forces when I saw it.  Let me tell you why.

The military is a cross section of American society.  Just as we have a delightful melting pot of cultures, we, unfortunately, also have ALL elements of humanity...the good, the bad, and the evil.  Due to the integrity and oath that all have sworn to uphold, many people forget that evil can still lurk in our ranks.

While we were stationed in the Great White North, Evil reared its face for all to see.  Our community was rocked by the rape of a toddler.  Her father had left her in the care of a friend while he ran to pick up a few things from the store.

People were appalled and shocked that this "rare" occurrence could happen on base.  As I visited with the moms in my neighborhood play group, I heard their shocked exclamations.  While I was saddened and angered by this crime, I was not surprised.  After hearing more proclamations of the safety of military society than I could stomach, I finally spoke up.

Calmly, I expressed my concern over our community's false sense of security and how I was appalled at how lax people were about caring for their own safety.  At this point, I listed the examples of this behavior that I had personally seen.

After I had finished, there was silence...followed by angry defensiveness.  I was surprised that these women actually felt like they had a right, as military wives, to not take care of themselves and their families!  I remember being hit with the argument that I was new to the military, and, therefore, did not understand how its society worked.

I will admit, that argument hurt.  I had only been connected to the military for 2 years at this point.  To sit and hear Captains' wives blindly praise the virtues of military society while ignoring the fact that we, as women and human beings, must still be ever vigilant, was hard.  Things were never the same in that group.  They would smile and falsely greet me when I was at the park, but the wall was there.  I had put a crack in the facade of safety, and they didn't like it one bit.

As the years wore on and assignments changed, I would see the military community get struck again by events that would shake its sense of security.  While the vast majority of our population has no intent to harm, we cannot forget that our community is a mix of flawed human beings and anything is possible.