Military Spouse Examples - Susans

Time: Present   Location: The Pacific

Last night I had the privilege of meeting a whole lot of wonderful women! Much like a stomach warming pot of stew, they were diverse, vibrant, and warming to the soul.  Honestly, I was reveling in the laid back, positive atmosphere that comes with having a mix of people who accept eachother just as they are.  I just happened to be blessed with being there as well.

Our hostess was a personality dynamo.  The first time I met her I saw a woman who loved life and loved the life she lived.  She had a way of moving through a room that both caused people to respect her, but also endeared people to her as well.  I would like to say that she was a woman's woman.  Her personality screamed comfort with herself, care for others, and confidence in her role as a military spouse. She was a "Susan," to say the least.  Meeting her took me on a journey back to when I met the woman who taught me that I didn't need to become someone that I wasn't.  Who I was was just what the military needed me to be.  This chance encounter reminded me of the first "Susan" who entered my life.

Honestly, after almost 10 years with the military, I have met a lot of women.  Some have really changed the way I approach life.  While I would LOVE to say all have done so through positive examples...I simply can't.  With all the women that I have met, over time, I have been able to mentally compartmentalize personality traits.  Now, when my engineer asks me about new people I meet, I tend to answer, "she is a Susan," "A Diane," or, God forbid, "A Debbie."  Knowing the impact that these "women" had on my life, he completely understands what I mean.  Today, I am going to introduce you to "Susans."

The very first "Susan" that I met crossed my path when I needed her the most.  I was a young, new military spouse and was being schooled on what was expected of me.  With horror and sadness, I was quickly discovering that who I was just wouldn't make the cut.  My reaction to that revelation was to try to make the most of my situation...and try to be what Blue needed me to be.  Then I met her.  "Susan."

"Susan" had been around the block a few times.  Though a bit salty, she was compassion, care, and love rolled into a very vibrant package.  Honestly, she was one of the very few women during that first tour that broke through my brick wall.  It was through her authenticity and comfort with her place as a military spouse that completely won me over.  White gloves and pearls....she had none....and neither did I!  She bore an honesty that I was desperately searching for...and from her I learned the greatest lesson I would ever learn.

BEING MYSELF...QUIRKS & ALL...IS ALL THAT WAS NEEDED FROM ME!!!

Because of the graciousness that she extended to my very young self, I was faced with the most important gift that I can give to my fellow spouses: a safe place where they can grow and become who they were meant to be.  Love, compassion, grace, and honesty were gifts that she gave me with her friendship and mentoring.  I learned that if the cover of my book was perfect but the inner pages were cryptic, I had committed a grave injustice to myself and others.

"Susan" taught me that being genuine had its pitfalls as well...but they were worth it!  While she was kind and considerate to all, she knew that she couldn't please everyone...but that didn't stand in the way of always being honest and kind.

To say that my day brightened when she walked in the room or called all those years ago seems to barely skim the surface of the precious gift she gave to me.  I needed someone who would be my friend, even though I felt like I was on the outside looking in.  When I think of all the women I have known who have served their squadrons over the years, "Susan" stands out as the one person everyone felt comfortable coming to.  While the Leadership may have been difficult, she was the heart of our squadron and I owe my own vision for supporting our military families to her.  For, it is the "Susans" who offer a safe place for young spouses to grow and become the pillars that hold our communities together.