My Angel's Birthday

The contrast between our first year and our second year in the military is striking.  The loneliness and deep feeling of separation had vanished by the time my angel had her first birthday.  While I cannot define exactly what happened during the valley between the two points in time, I can see the night and day difference between the two.  This amazing transformation is most evident with my angel's birthday party.

Like every First Birthday, it was really a celebration of our survival of the first year of Parenthood.  With great excitement, my engineer and I planned a simple party that would bring together friends who had supported us during the previous year.  Like all new parents, we had not registered the significance of the event for ourselves.  It was a wonderful friend with 3 children of her own that pointed it out to me.  Her oldest was a piano student of mine, and I found in her someone who I could comfortably find guidance, both as a mother and as a military spouse.  When she spoke, I listened...and listened carefully.

Honestly, it was with a bit a fear that I built our guest list.  I really wanted our little girl's First Birthday to be wonderful.  Still being new to the military, I was fighting the sad feeling that comes with the lack of family presence at that very big event in our lives.  I would think of what her birthday would be like if we hadn't been located so far away.  While my engineer's parents were present, the absence of my family was hard for me to swallow.  I had grown up with birthdays being family occasions with cousins and grandparents present.  Internally, I broke...knowing that my little girl would have none of that.  So, building our guest list, I thought of each name as a stand in for those who could not attend.

What a list!  It was with joy that each person RSVP'd.  Before I knew it, I was preparing for a houseful.  What a houseful it was.  Families, lots of children, singles....they were all coming!  Excited, my engineer and I chose a cake, ice cream, blew up balloons, hung streamers, and cleaned.  Before we knew it, there were knocks on the door and smiling faces entering our home.  The celebration of our angel's birthday and our survival had begun.

Looking back on that special day, I can see the changes our family's make up had gone through. While most of the people there were friends, a few had moved beyond into being family.  While blood family may not have been there, military family was present with a vengeance.  My angel had aunts and uncles there who would stand by her and understand her life in the many years to come, even when distance separated her from them.

Holding her in his arms, my engineer helped his angel blow out her single candle.  The delicious cake (baked by a fellow military spouse) was half yellow and half chocolate.  Naturally, our sweet thang went for the chocolate.  Happy children played while parents visited.  The guys talked shop (which would become an increasing occurrence during the following years) and had their own kind of fun.  After a while, I would just get used to the shop talk and learn to smile, shrug, and steer the ladies somewhere we could get away from it.  When you are married to an active duty member, you soon accept the fact that they are never really off duty.  She is always present.

Thinking back to that time, I remember how full my heart felt with my "family" between my four walls.  They were there to celebrate our little one's birthday.  Many of them had known her from the time we discovered she was entering our lives.  While many were casual acquaintances, some were precious friends who had been there for me when I needed family the most.  Their loving support and friendship showed me something that I desperately needed to see:

There is family that you are born into....but there is also family that you choose.  Of all the people I have met in my life, my military family is the family I choose....and I choose it with pride and  great honor.