Code Black

Dr. Seuss....why is it that he is coming to mind when I think about Black road conditions in the Great White North..."Oh, the places you'll go!"  For some reason, I don't think that is quite what he had in mind.  The military has taken us to many places...all of them half way across the world from each other.  But none of our various "homes" had road conditions quite like the Great White North.  Honestly, the GWN has put every place we knew before and since to shame.  Rain??  People, you haven't seen anything yet!  Spend a few winters up there and you will KNOW what "bad roads" are all about.

I had grown up in a place that had occasional rain, when it wasn't in the midst of a drought, and pea soup fog.  I had experience driving on snow and ice after I had unwittingly moved to the Midwest.  Nothing wrong with the Midwest, mind you....it just isn't home.  It was while living in Chicago and Missouri that I discovered how nasty roads can get when the temperature drops below 32F....something I had never really experienced growing up.

Now, Missouri has ice...and I mean ICE!  I will never forget the time when I was driving from my university town to St. Louis to meet up with my engineer in the midst of an ice storm.  I remember actually having to pull over and chip the ice off my windows, mirrors, and antenna. By the time I got back in the car, I looked like I had a fight with a shaved ice machine.  Up to that point in my life, that was the worst road experience I had ever had.  By the time I arrived in St. Louis, I was done with driving for a while.  Thank God above it was winter break.  I think most of Missouri was iced in that week.  I thought I did a pretty good job.  Car in one piece....check.  No dead pedestrians....check.  No smashed trees....check.  I was ALIVE....double check.  While pretty relieved that I had made it in once piece, I felt like it was just barely.

Flash forward a few years and dump my sorry self in the Great White North.  I would spend three 9 month winters white knuckle driving up there!  I kid you not, I prayed every single time I turned out the gates to head to the neighboring town.  You would have thought I was preparing to meet my maker...and in a very real way, I was!

How many talks with God I had in that car, I have no clue.  It was just a running dialog of, "please Lord, I know I am a pill sometimes, but this really isn't the way I want to go!!" and "Honestly, I thought you loved me...why did you HAVE to add more snow to the ice that is already there WHILE I am driving?  I know you have a dark sense of humor, but really!!"  He just listened...and listened...and listened some more.  And OBVIOUSLY...I am writing this, so He must not have wanted to deal with me quite yet.

The winter that scared me the most was our second winter.  At that point, I was VERY pregnant with our little girl.  Now, when I am pregnant, there is NO WHERE to HIDE the baby.  That little one is WAY out there entering rooms before I do.  Every time I would maneuver myself into the car, I would say a quick prayer that we would both come out of it safely.  Unfortunately, all my OB appointments were in town.  So, there, at the end, I was having to spend a lot of time on those icy roads.  I will never forget one particular drive where the roads were RED when I left the gates....and the switched to black right after I turned off down the highway.

That was a particularly bad day.  I was having some really nice, sometimes even, contractions.  Rest took care of them, but I had to go to that appointment because my Nurse Midwife was concerned.  So, down the road I went.  After about a mile, I started getting concerned.  Cars littered the ditches on either side of the road.  Even though I felt like I was crawling down the road, I could still feel the car wanting to slip and slide.  Snow was coming down, and I couldn't see another MOVING car anywhere in sight.  Both hands white gripping the wheel, I could feel my little one dancing inside me.

Seeing so many abandoned cars along the road scared me.  I remember taking the car all the way down to 15, and then 10...literally crawling the remaining 8 miles into town.  I was horrified to find that the roads were even worse in town.  I had thought that maybe city crews may have gone through, but it looked like it had been completely deserted.  By the time  I arrived at the doctor's office, my blood pressure was through the roof.

I must say that I sat in the office for quite awhile before taking a deep breath and heading home.  With great relief, I discovered that it had stopped snowing and the road crews had been able to do what they do best....make the roads safe for pregnant women who only want to go home.  I would LOVE to say that was the worst I ever had to deal with. Unfortunately, it wasn't.

Through the following two years we had there, God seemed to be working at breaking His own records.  I honestly felt, at times, that I was the recipient of some prank, and the angels were having a blast watching me on TV.  The number of near misses that I would have during our time in the Great White North is something I prefer NOT to think about.  Never in my younger years had I ever thought I would actually get very good at driving in deadly road conditions.

During following assignments, we would be given strict road condition warnings that would cause both me and my engineer to raise our eyebrows.  It became apparent that road condition warnings were relative.  Europe's Red was the Great White North's Green.  And, of all the places I would go....the Great White North took the prize for having the worst winter roads I had ever seen.  And, quite frankly, they can keep them.