The Birds & The Bees...and the Gardener

Ah, the joy of hired help!  The image that came to mind when we hired our gardener was that we now had someone who would help me determine which plants were best for our new home, how much water our yard really needed, and how and when to trim back the plants that were there.  That was what came with having a gardener, right???  Uh, no...  Not quite.

Arif was a kind, gentle, soft spoken man.  He arrived with the rising sun and was often the last to leave base when it was time for the hired labor to leave.  I liked him.  He had a family that he loved and children he was proud of.  While his English wasn't the best, he was a patient teacher as I worked hard to learn his language.  After all, I was a guest in his country so I should, naturally, learn his mother tongue.

It didn't take long for me to learn that while Arif worked very hard and was completely trustworthy, he really didn't know anything about horticulture.

At first, I thought that my flooded yard was simply a result of his maintaining several yards at the same time.  However, after months of coming home to a swamp instead of a lawn, I very carefully explained that more water would kill the grass, not make it grow better.  There is really nothing quite like being a western woman trying to carefully explain things to a muslim man in a rural area.  After a while, I just knew that I would have to keep an eye on the water myself if I wanted any lawn left at all.

The kicker came when my cucumber plants grew into gorgeous vines....with no fruit.  I had noticed a serious lack of bees in the area.  After talking to a friend who was also having issues with her garden, we both came to the conclusion that our problem was lack of pollination.

One day, while I was outside, weeding my fruitless but beautiful beds, Arif came up and worked next to me.

"Missy, Bad plants."

Stopping, I looked at him, "What do you mean?"

His hand touching the vines, "Bad Plants.  No fruit.  Pull out!"

Carefully, so as to not offend, "No, Arif.  Not bad plants.  No bees"

"No.  Not no bees.  Bad plants.  Seeds no good.  Different seeds."

"Arif, have you seen any bees or flying bugs?"

I remember how he stopped, thought a minute, and said "Hayir..." (no)

"Arif, we need bugs.  Bees, butterflies...anything...to make the plants bear fruit."

Seriously puzzled, he stared at me.  Taking a deep breath, I said, "Bees go into this flower, get dusty, and fly to another flower...and fruit happens...like babies!"

Turning bright red, he looked from one flower to another and then back at me.  Quietly standing, he said simply, "no bees....no plant babies"...and left.