Grey Mist Hangs Over Our Military Family

Note:  I apologize for being AWOL these past few weeks.  I try to only write when I can see things clearly and speak with clarity.  After these past few weeks, I feel that I am now ready to speak with as much understanding as I am able...let the games begin.

Setting - Present Day - Current Events



To say the last decade has been a challenge does not do justice to what our Military Family has faced.  The beginning of December greeted us with a report that made my blood run cold.  Like jagged shards of ice, it has been coursing through my body for the past month and a half.  It came to a full blow this evening when my Engineer revealed something that just tore me apart.

At this moment, this very moment as you are reading this, the Department of Defense has confirmed that our ranks are hit with one suicide every 36 hours.  Over the last week, the USAF has had 4 confirmed suicides alone.  Our population makes up less than 4% of the total American population, which makes these numbers both numbing and horrific.

The reasons for this have not been stated.  As per privacy, nothing is revealed about what is to blame for the loss of these men and women.  The Army alone had 164 "potential" suicides with 140 confirmed.  Briefings are happening on every military installation around the globe.  My head bows as I wonder what real good this will do.

Over the last 10+ years, our troops have stood up, deployed continuously, lost their families through divorce, watched as their brothers and sisters in arms have fallen, been shot at, blown up...  A great divide has formed between the military and the civilian population of our beloved country, making us feel an even stronger disconnect.  As we watch "the general populace" on TV, the stressors in our lives brought on by the war pace, have increased the number of spouse and child abuse, substance abuse, mental illness, reprimands, and suicide.

Now, as our country is demanding a draw down of forces (which I do not argue with entirely...), we are finding ourselves in a place most did not expect to see 10 years ago.  Young men and women who swore to give their lives in service to their country are now finding themselves with a whole lot of baggage brought on by multiple deployments and a boot showing them the door.  In the swing of bread and circus politics, political promises have repercussions.

Those of us who live in and beside the uniform completely understand that what is said by politicians has a direct impact on our lives.  There is no treading water through an administration.  While those out of uniform can lead the majority of their lives ignoring politics, we know that it is by the decisions of a few that our lives are directly affected. My Engineer has forever been an honorable officer.  He lives by duty and the oath that he swore when he took his position with the military.  I, respectful of the oath that he took and the culture that is now my own, speak carefully.  Not out of fear, but out of love for my military family that I am so blessed to call my own.

As the suicide rates increase with the aftermath of war and the impending manpower cuts, my hands feel tied as I long to help.  Many of our service members made precarious decisions concerning their careers, such as accepting another deployment or working harder at their assigned positions and letting their studies wait for their next promotion boards.  While some do warrant a dismissal, others are facing cuts because they chose to do their jobs to the best of their abilities in the midst of shortages rather than focusing on their "careers" and letting their troops suffer.

Many are finding that really hard work doesn't pay off.  It doesn't matter how much blood, sweat and tears have been shed.  In the end, it all boils down to numbers on a sheet of paper.  I have a saying that I live by.  It came to me during a really difficult time while my Engineer was deployed:

A truly strong person is someone who has been broken over and over again.  Like a bone, the breaks heal stronger than they were before.

Many have barely started the healing process.  The strength that they must have to face the loss of community, military family, stability, and livelihood is not there yet.  Often, either they have lost their families or their families are fragile due to the emotional chaos of deployments.  Some have never had any intention of doing anything else other than serving their country.  It is not simply a job that they are potentially losing, it is their whole life.  

I have no answers for what can be done to prevent this from continuing.  Right now, at this very moment, I have only tears.  Budget changes HAVE to happen.  But that reality doesn't erase the fact that many have fought and bled for their country only to feel betrayed because now they are being shown the door.

If only their breaks could heal a bit more....  

Defense Release

RAND Corp. Report