On the morning of December 5th, we drove through driving snow to the airport one last time. The only personal belongings we would have until our household goods were delivered were packed in our suitcases and carry ons. I remember turning around in my seat to look at my Angel in her carseat and Nutmeg in her carrier. Bags were tucked into the floorboard. Excited and nervous, we left our first base for the last time.
The day we flew out, it was -65F outside. The deadly cold went through all of our layers. I felt a strong sense of relief that we were leaving the cold behind. While I loved the people, the constant cold just made my body and soul ache. I was physically and emotionally ready to be done with it. My engineer rushed us in and then went back out to bring in the baggage.
It wasn't until he was hauling in the luggage from the car that I realized that we were going to have a heck of a time on this journey: six checked bags, 6 carry ons, one large kennel (for if the EU required Nutmeg to be checked into the baggage hold), a car seat, a folding stroller, and Nutmeg in her small carrier. With absolute dread, I closed my eyes and told myself that we only had to change flights 4 times...with multiple Customs check points.
Just as I was working to steady my nerves, my best friend and her husband walked through the doors to see us off. She had been there for me when my Angel was born, and there she was again, when I needed a friend who would smile and tell me that it would end before we knew it. You see, sometimes you just need someone to lie to you! A good friend will help transport you to a fairy tale place where everthing in life is beautiful when you just need a break from the reality that has landed on your dinner plate. For a very short hour, she did just that...and gosh, did I need it.
The excitement built up to the point of explosion when the security check call rang out through that very small airport. Gathering ALL of our "Stuff", we bid farewell to people that I really wanted to just take with us. After having put so much into creating connections, it felt like an atrocity to say goodbye. I have NEVER gotten used to it. It is with a lot of sadness that I continually bid people I love goodbye. Going through the security check point, I turned and waved farewell...wishing that I could take it back and have it be a hello.
After waiting for an hour for the boarding call, we laboriously made our way to our seats. My face burned with embarrassment over the amount of luggage we had. I worked really hard on focusing on the fact that this is what my family had to live on for who knows how long. I had always been a very light traveler, so the insane amount of baggage rubbed against my grain like sandpaper.
After putting everything where it belonged, including Nutmeg under the seat in front of me, I sat down and took one last look out the window. Seat belts fastened and everything stowed, our plane took off, leaving the Great White North far behind.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Billeting....Homeless Once Again.
I HATE billeting. There is that strong feeling of belonging NO WHERE when we have to stay in Billeting. Oh, I am sorry...for all the non-military out there...billeting is a glorified hotel room where military have to stay when they are made homeless due to a PCS. Trust me, there is NOTHING glorious about billeting.
Our first billeting experience was on our outbound journey after our assignment to the Great White North. I had never stayed in billeting before. All I knew was that it had a kitchenette in it due to the fact that people often have to stay there for weeks at a time. Every single location has a different definition of what appropriate billeting is. This is further morphed by whatever branch happens to manage the billeting you are assigned.
The Great White North's billeting was a hotel room with a kitchenette in the hall and a bedroom in the back. At first, this doesn't sound too bad...if you don't have kids. But throw a toddler in the mix, and you are going to have an AWESOME time! Her porta-crib was INSIDE the closet, blocking the walking space around the foot of the bed. Add to that the fact that she inherited her mother's very light sleeping habits, it made for a nightmare situation. Middle of the night bathroom runs ALWAYS ran the risk of waking her up. While we considered having her sleep in the front room, that was immediately ruled out because my engineer had to get ready for work somewhere. As you can tell, it is with great dread that I think about billeting.
I have many memories about our time in billeting in the Great White North. During the time we were in lodging, it was the middle of winter, first week of December to be exact. I was still recovering from C-Diff and was harboring some very ill feelings toward the two military docs who I had my unforgettable encounter with. I think things wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been -50F outside without windchill. Being on our way out, we only had one car at the time. Without argument, my engineer needed it to get to work during his final days in the squadron. Unfortunately, that mental understanding didn't help the trapped feeling that I had between those four walls.
My Angel and I played, paced, read, played, paced, read some more... Sometimes she and I would watch some useless television. To this day, I marvel at the crud that Disney feels our children should be watching! I have no clue how many times I saw children's shows with random nothingness. They were the very definition of bizarre. I actually started feeling really guilty when I would give in to the urge for peace and turn that stupid thing on. But after hours and hours of entertaining a little one in a single room, the brain HAS to escape for a little bit...or it will BURST!!!
Other times we would both find ourselves seated at the window...watching the snow whirl by. Honestly, I think the Great White North got all of its snow from neighboring states. The snow there hardly ever fell beautifully and calmly. It always came down with a vengeance on a wicked wind from who knows where! During those seven days in billeting, my Angel and I watched a lot of snow blow in. The more snow that came down, the more concerned I became that our Nutmeg wouldn't be able to get on the plane.
The temperatures kept dropping while we were in billeting. The lower they got, the more anxious I became over getting ALL of us on that plane. Both my engineer and I were worried sick. There was NO WAY we were going to leave her behind. We had made the decision do the best we could to get her in the cabin with us on the flight...despite her weighing in at 12lbs (the weight limit is 8lbs). We searched high and low for a carrier that could fit under the seat in front of us. Watching the winter weather forecasts made us curse the wait in billeting. The passing days only brought fouler weather world wide.
It was with a mixture of hope and dread that we checked out of billeting that eighth day. Loading all we had into the car, we went to Nutmeg's Foster Home and picked her up. Our journey would be very long...and we were running the risk of not being able to take her all the way through to the Orient due to the severe winter weather forecasts around the globe. My engineer and I were a bit scared, to say the least. Though we had done everything that needed to be done for her to clear all the check points, if one flight attendant decided Nutmeg needed to fly in the hold, Nutmeg wouldn't be allowed to fly due to the winter storms that were covering the globe. With a lot of prayer...we began our journey out of the Great White North to the Orient.
Our first billeting experience was on our outbound journey after our assignment to the Great White North. I had never stayed in billeting before. All I knew was that it had a kitchenette in it due to the fact that people often have to stay there for weeks at a time. Every single location has a different definition of what appropriate billeting is. This is further morphed by whatever branch happens to manage the billeting you are assigned.
The Great White North's billeting was a hotel room with a kitchenette in the hall and a bedroom in the back. At first, this doesn't sound too bad...if you don't have kids. But throw a toddler in the mix, and you are going to have an AWESOME time! Her porta-crib was INSIDE the closet, blocking the walking space around the foot of the bed. Add to that the fact that she inherited her mother's very light sleeping habits, it made for a nightmare situation. Middle of the night bathroom runs ALWAYS ran the risk of waking her up. While we considered having her sleep in the front room, that was immediately ruled out because my engineer had to get ready for work somewhere. As you can tell, it is with great dread that I think about billeting.
I have many memories about our time in billeting in the Great White North. During the time we were in lodging, it was the middle of winter, first week of December to be exact. I was still recovering from C-Diff and was harboring some very ill feelings toward the two military docs who I had my unforgettable encounter with. I think things wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been -50F outside without windchill. Being on our way out, we only had one car at the time. Without argument, my engineer needed it to get to work during his final days in the squadron. Unfortunately, that mental understanding didn't help the trapped feeling that I had between those four walls.
My Angel and I played, paced, read, played, paced, read some more... Sometimes she and I would watch some useless television. To this day, I marvel at the crud that Disney feels our children should be watching! I have no clue how many times I saw children's shows with random nothingness. They were the very definition of bizarre. I actually started feeling really guilty when I would give in to the urge for peace and turn that stupid thing on. But after hours and hours of entertaining a little one in a single room, the brain HAS to escape for a little bit...or it will BURST!!!
Other times we would both find ourselves seated at the window...watching the snow whirl by. Honestly, I think the Great White North got all of its snow from neighboring states. The snow there hardly ever fell beautifully and calmly. It always came down with a vengeance on a wicked wind from who knows where! During those seven days in billeting, my Angel and I watched a lot of snow blow in. The more snow that came down, the more concerned I became that our Nutmeg wouldn't be able to get on the plane.
The temperatures kept dropping while we were in billeting. The lower they got, the more anxious I became over getting ALL of us on that plane. Both my engineer and I were worried sick. There was NO WAY we were going to leave her behind. We had made the decision do the best we could to get her in the cabin with us on the flight...despite her weighing in at 12lbs (the weight limit is 8lbs). We searched high and low for a carrier that could fit under the seat in front of us. Watching the winter weather forecasts made us curse the wait in billeting. The passing days only brought fouler weather world wide.
It was with a mixture of hope and dread that we checked out of billeting that eighth day. Loading all we had into the car, we went to Nutmeg's Foster Home and picked her up. Our journey would be very long...and we were running the risk of not being able to take her all the way through to the Orient due to the severe winter weather forecasts around the globe. My engineer and I were a bit scared, to say the least. Though we had done everything that needed to be done for her to clear all the check points, if one flight attendant decided Nutmeg needed to fly in the hold, Nutmeg wouldn't be allowed to fly due to the winter storms that were covering the globe. With a lot of prayer...we began our journey out of the Great White North to the Orient.
Military Spouse Examples - Susans
Time: Present Location: The Pacific
Last night I had the privilege of meeting a whole lot of wonderful women! Much like a stomach warming pot of stew, they were diverse, vibrant, and warming to the soul. Honestly, I was reveling in the laid back, positive atmosphere that comes with having a mix of people who accept eachother just as they are. I just happened to be blessed with being there as well.
Our hostess was a personality dynamo. The first time I met her I saw a woman who loved life and loved the life she lived. She had a way of moving through a room that both caused people to respect her, but also endeared people to her as well. I would like to say that she was a woman's woman. Her personality screamed comfort with herself, care for others, and confidence in her role as a military spouse. She was a "Susan," to say the least. Meeting her took me on a journey back to when I met the woman who taught me that I didn't need to become someone that I wasn't. Who I was was just what the military needed me to be. This chance encounter reminded me of the first "Susan" who entered my life.
Honestly, after almost 10 years with the military, I have met a lot of women. Some have really changed the way I approach life. While I would LOVE to say all have done so through positive examples...I simply can't. With all the women that I have met, over time, I have been able to mentally compartmentalize personality traits. Now, when my engineer asks me about new people I meet, I tend to answer, "she is a Susan," "A Diane," or, God forbid, "A Debbie." Knowing the impact that these "women" had on my life, he completely understands what I mean. Today, I am going to introduce you to "Susans."
The very first "Susan" that I met crossed my path when I needed her the most. I was a young, new military spouse and was being schooled on what was expected of me. With horror and sadness, I was quickly discovering that who I was just wouldn't make the cut. My reaction to that revelation was to try to make the most of my situation...and try to be what Blue needed me to be. Then I met her. "Susan."
"Susan" had been around the block a few times. Though a bit salty, she was compassion, care, and love rolled into a very vibrant package. Honestly, she was one of the very few women during that first tour that broke through my brick wall. It was through her authenticity and comfort with her place as a military spouse that completely won me over. White gloves and pearls....she had none....and neither did I! She bore an honesty that I was desperately searching for...and from her I learned the greatest lesson I would ever learn.
Last night I had the privilege of meeting a whole lot of wonderful women! Much like a stomach warming pot of stew, they were diverse, vibrant, and warming to the soul. Honestly, I was reveling in the laid back, positive atmosphere that comes with having a mix of people who accept eachother just as they are. I just happened to be blessed with being there as well.
Our hostess was a personality dynamo. The first time I met her I saw a woman who loved life and loved the life she lived. She had a way of moving through a room that both caused people to respect her, but also endeared people to her as well. I would like to say that she was a woman's woman. Her personality screamed comfort with herself, care for others, and confidence in her role as a military spouse. She was a "Susan," to say the least. Meeting her took me on a journey back to when I met the woman who taught me that I didn't need to become someone that I wasn't. Who I was was just what the military needed me to be. This chance encounter reminded me of the first "Susan" who entered my life.
Honestly, after almost 10 years with the military, I have met a lot of women. Some have really changed the way I approach life. While I would LOVE to say all have done so through positive examples...I simply can't. With all the women that I have met, over time, I have been able to mentally compartmentalize personality traits. Now, when my engineer asks me about new people I meet, I tend to answer, "she is a Susan," "A Diane," or, God forbid, "A Debbie." Knowing the impact that these "women" had on my life, he completely understands what I mean. Today, I am going to introduce you to "Susans."
The very first "Susan" that I met crossed my path when I needed her the most. I was a young, new military spouse and was being schooled on what was expected of me. With horror and sadness, I was quickly discovering that who I was just wouldn't make the cut. My reaction to that revelation was to try to make the most of my situation...and try to be what Blue needed me to be. Then I met her. "Susan."
"Susan" had been around the block a few times. Though a bit salty, she was compassion, care, and love rolled into a very vibrant package. Honestly, she was one of the very few women during that first tour that broke through my brick wall. It was through her authenticity and comfort with her place as a military spouse that completely won me over. White gloves and pearls....she had none....and neither did I! She bore an honesty that I was desperately searching for...and from her I learned the greatest lesson I would ever learn.
BEING MYSELF...QUIRKS & ALL...IS ALL THAT WAS NEEDED FROM ME!!!
Because of the graciousness that she extended to my very young self, I was faced with the most important gift that I can give to my fellow spouses: a safe place where they can grow and become who they were meant to be. Love, compassion, grace, and honesty were gifts that she gave me with her friendship and mentoring. I learned that if the cover of my book was perfect but the inner pages were cryptic, I had committed a grave injustice to myself and others.
"Susan" taught me that being genuine had its pitfalls as well...but they were worth it! While she was kind and considerate to all, she knew that she couldn't please everyone...but that didn't stand in the way of always being honest and kind.
To say that my day brightened when she walked in the room or called all those years ago seems to barely skim the surface of the precious gift she gave to me. I needed someone who would be my friend, even though I felt like I was on the outside looking in. When I think of all the women I have known who have served their squadrons over the years, "Susan" stands out as the one person everyone felt comfortable coming to. While the Leadership may have been difficult, she was the heart of our squadron and I owe my own vision for supporting our military families to her. For, it is the "Susans" who offer a safe place for young spouses to grow and become the pillars that hold our communities together.
"Susan" taught me that being genuine had its pitfalls as well...but they were worth it! While she was kind and considerate to all, she knew that she couldn't please everyone...but that didn't stand in the way of always being honest and kind.
To say that my day brightened when she walked in the room or called all those years ago seems to barely skim the surface of the precious gift she gave to me. I needed someone who would be my friend, even though I felt like I was on the outside looking in. When I think of all the women I have known who have served their squadrons over the years, "Susan" stands out as the one person everyone felt comfortable coming to. While the Leadership may have been difficult, she was the heart of our squadron and I owe my own vision for supporting our military families to her. For, it is the "Susans" who offer a safe place for young spouses to grow and become the pillars that hold our communities together.
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